Thursday, February 28, 2008

On loquacity and Saint Barack

Click for full sized image

Watch out, I'm a very sauer Kraut. People at JibJab are thumbs-downing my slide show, and one even took offense. Watch out, expect hell to be freezing over, but Hillary Clinton was right again when she said...

As for public speaking... I do know a bit about this, it being a major part of my former career. One time, when I went on a bit too long, I was lovingly chided by a member whom I'd noticed had dozed off. He advised me to put a lozenge in my mouth- when it was done, so was my sermon.

Here's a few apt tidbits on the matter from

Before I speak, I have something important to say.
- Groucho Marx

"As an apple of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it." - Proverbs 25:11

The Lord's Prayer contains 56 words
The Gettysburg Address contains 272 words
The Ten Commandments contains 297 words
The USA Declaration of Independence contains 300 words
A bag of Lay's Potato Chips contains 401 words
The IRS Form 1040EZ contains 418 words
Average USA-Today cover story contains 1,200 words
A recent federal publication on setting the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words

One other relevant matter. I say this informatively, not defensively. It is axiomatic that the longer the speech, post, etc., the less time which went into it.

Likewise, a short story or novella is much more difficult to write than a full length novel. Reading War and Peace or any of the Victorian era serial-novels is like climbing Mt. Everest but for those of us who run at the mouth, writing that much is like breathing- it would take great effort and concentration to do less of it!

You'll know I REALLY have too much time on my hands when my posts get shorter but more pointed, with multiple layers of meaning, as my sermons and Bible studies once did when I got paid to shoot my mouth off, and was doing it "in the stead and by the command of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

For my 12-20 minute sermons, I put sometimes close to an hour per minute into them. For these posts... well, I type at over 100 words a minute, and the only time I don't have anything to say is when I'm under anesthesia, so you do the math! Count the words, divide by 100, add in a few minutes for finding a screwy picture on Wiki or video on Youtube, and... you do the math.


SnarkAngel said...

Wow! You type faster than I do (about 90 wpm on a pc, about 80 on an electric typewriter). If the nursing thing didn't work out, for whatever reason (although I am SURE it will), you could try medical transcription (although much of that seems to be farmed out to India these days), another of my FORMER careers. LOL.

SnarkAngel said...

Looks like the poster or YouTube took down the second video . . .

The Rug Goth said...

Not surprised... it was so sardonic it made my slide show look like an ode in his honor!

People have suggested that, but remember, my core need is to help people in a very hands on way. Paperwork is a necessary evil... not something I want to be the way of my life!