Watch Those Hyperlinks!

Received an Email from a friend a couple of weeks ago, that I just opened, asking me to:

"See how easy it is to make a fortune. Kind of upsetting that my kids didn't think of this...as they're always on MySpace. ugh!

....center of the page...under "Popular News".....third link down...(it
will play one brief commercial, and then show you the story).

http://www.cnn.com

teen earns millions via MySpace"

ANYWAY: Here's what I got when I hit the link and clicked 3 down, today:

"'Chessboard killer' revels in death"

Kids today! What will they think of next! And her girls were always so sweet to me...

The Purina Diet

OK We got one more - Thanks to Ralph for loading my inbox when I was very busy. Now ROFLMAO at work thank you very much as I get caught up on the nonessential emails, such as:

The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for our dog Chip, and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

A Senior Moment

Seen this before, but what the heck...

A Doctor's Waiting Room

This is so true!
They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it:

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk....
The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??"
"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"
"I can't piss out of it," he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose

Really!

"

Wow! You do have a wide stance

!"

FANGtastic Friday Orchid Blogging

Check out what I made (well, with God's help, some talented orchid breeders, and me misting,watering and feeding "weekly, weakly" )

They always "pop" when I'm out of town. This one is going to really put on a show. There are 6 more buds to open on the spike. The bloom has to be over 2 & 1/2 inches across on a spike that is at least 2 feet tall.

I bought this Orchid from Norman's Orchids about 2 years ago. It was supposed to be "in spike" which means a bud spike had formed (and would bloom shortly thereafter) but instead it was already blooming and the buds and blooms were knocked off in shipping. This is my first bloom since.

I did it without killing it.

Thank you Boris for forwarding the photo so I could share.

ENJOY!!!

Shameless Plug . . . for My FAVORITE show!

He's BAAAAAAaaaaaaaaack. Bigger. Beefier. And uncut. Oops, never mind about that last part. I wouldn't know (yet). Val, I wish you were here visiting right now from across the pond. Less than 20 hours away . . .



Yes, Bobby, you are my own special "whack job."

DISTURBINGLY ADDICTIVE . . .

I think these guys should have their own TV show . . . if they don't already. And the producer/star (The Mary) is pretty cute . . . yeah . . . I'd do him. And the Rhoda and the Phyllis are pretty funny/creepy. They chose one of television's BEST theme songs, too. Partridge Family rocks forevaaaaaaaaaaaah! Yes, I've had a few cocktails. Okay . . . maybe more than a few . . .

Your Wednesday Weekly Weill

Tango Youkali/Kurt Weill,Soprano Tiziana Sojat, For Val

Bush Vetos SCHIP!

And a child shows how she really feels about it.

Ute Lemper - Je ne t'aime pas (kurt Weill)

Just my mood I guess

Will it be today?

In honor of the approaching thousandth hit: Richard Wagner Die Walküre.

An Albuquerque Happening Ms. Thang

Ms. Cheyenne Pretty!!

Via Our Albuquerque Al(yson)

How to Write a Fugue

Fuguing Brilliant!

The Headline's Write Themselves

Via Pam's House Blend & Raw Story

Sen. Craig may not yet be ready to release grip on Senate seat

Guerrilla Art on the CTA

This really cracked me up, as noted over at the CTA Tattler:

Pac-Man-like graphics pop up on CTA emergency signs

"Today on the train somebody wanted to take a picture of the cartoonish emergency exit instructions. There are four pictures, but someone has cleverly (in the same style as the originals ) replaced three of the pictures.

"One picture shows the train flooded with water, the other (2nd from top) shows the figure crawling on the floor and one figure emerging from the box next to the door and the lower picture shows a giant hand shaking the train as it approaches the platform. This was done on one car only, however, cleverly done."

Check out the links for some photos of the graphics.


Update
Also, Anna notes in the comments at CTA Tattler:

There's at least one more set running on the Red Line (noticed at Howard one night when the laughter was sorely needed). They are as follows:

#1: Tiny ninja cutting off figure's ear
#2: Car filled with figures, one figure crowd-surfing
#3: Extremely large hand picking up right hand car
#4: Conductor with devil horns and pitchfork looming over the damned (on the track)
#5: Figure jump-kicking the train off of the track.

Is Our Children Learning? Part Deux

From Reuters: "Childrens do learn," Bush tells school kids

During his first presidential campaign, Bush -- who promised to be the "education president" -- once asked: "Is our children learning?"

On Wednesday, Bush seemed to answer his own question with the same kind of grammatical twist.

"As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured," he said.

I guess that would be a "Yes".

Sigh

And what the fuck is wrong with Yale and Harvard that they allowed this man in, much less graduate?

My only explanation would be affirmative action for priviledged, literately challenged, white boys.

Please go back to talking with your mouth full. If we can't make out what you're saying we won't have to hear any more of this.

Why Doesn't He Just...

...change his name to Rudy Nineleviani?

Giuliani fundraiser costs $9.11 per person

David Shuster And Marsha Blackburn (Tucker)

And here's why I love David Shuster subbing for dickhead Tucker Carlson. Rep Blackburn(R-TN) slapdown. I am donating $25.00 to Moveon.org in her name and $25.00 to her opponent's campaign because Tennessee and our country deserve better!

Lucy Lawless singing with Bonnie Tyler

One for the girls and one for the boys... And one for my favorite Zena: Alyson!!!

Watching Tucker Now

'Cos that dick is on vacation.


And David Shuster is hosting!!!!